Everyone needs embellishments in the bedroom, and not only in the manner of bed linens and lighting. A spectrum of colors creates a beautiful sunset, assorted toppings enhance a decadent banana spilt (probably why plain sex is known as “vanilla”), different notes and rhythms make a symphony, and sexual variety contributes to a better relationship in the bedroom and beyond. Life and sex are like a pizza: We all have a common base on which to build, and customizing the pie with a range of toppings—based on our preferences, religions, past experiences, and curiosity—results in the most delicious pizza for our individual style and taste. But how do you get from a plain pizza to a house special, from a few notes to a symphony, and from a scoop of ice cream to a hot fudge sundae when most sex books just teach you about the sauce, fingering, and wet nuts?
The key lies in knowing how to progress from one point to the next, and that is what separates this book from the rest. This book teaches you how to evolve or progress from one sexual form to another—composers and architects call such a device a bridge. Sexologists call these subtle shifts transitions. Every starting position in every chapter connects to the next with detailed instructions that will make you feel less like you are playing Twister, and more like you are an astute sexpert with grace and confidence.
Not only will these words and pictures help you transition from A to B, but this book will also guide you in making sex a whole-body experience. In my private practice and throughout this book, I dispel the myth of what too many people conceive of as “normal” intercourse—which is more like ESP, or exceptional sexual performance—where the man’s penis is always erect, the woman’s vagina is always moist, and both are always eager for more. I also want to make clear that sex does not rely on genitals alone. The best sex that you can have depends on a complex array of five senses (our “instruments”) that our minds arrange, our hearts conduct, and our souls applaud.
Because I want sex to be a whole-body experience for you—full of pleasure, fun, and laughter, and free of disease, coercion, discomfort, or regret—I have taken as much guesswork out of the bedroom as possible. This book and the lessons it contains will save you money and countless hours in sex counseling—and you can reap its benefits from the comfort and privacy of your bedroom, which is where sex-positive messages belong.
Finally, the chapters and their positions increase in difficulty—like a piano student moving from the two-fingered Chopsticks to Ravel’s near-impossible Gaspard de la Nuit. The easier positions will help you enjoy and master the basics, while the demanding formations will set a higher bar and force you to develop your mind and your flexibility.
How to Make This Book Work for You
Other books claim they can help improve your sex life, but the most they offer are descriptions and diagrams of disjointed sexual positions that, like images in a cartoon flip book, authors hope your mind can translate into a fluent event. Besides feeling put off by reading instructions or viewing photographs that have more to do with performing in a Las Vegas contortionist act than with making love in the bedroom, many people find they lack the necessary strength, energy, creativity, confidence, and comfort with sexual anatomy—theirs and their partner’s—to make these other kinds of position books work for them. My book is different, because it relies on hours and hours of trial-and-error, heaving and panting, and going and coming, to make every aspect of every position work for you.
Trust me. And trust my clients.
More than a year ago, I suggested that my clients try these positions as part of their at-home sex assignments, and their feedback and constructive criticism gave me the material I needed to write Mastering Multiple Position Sex. Because this book grew out of their firsthand experience and input, you can rest assured that toe-curling sex is not reserved for acrobats, gymnasts, models, and porn stars. On the contrary, as you will discover in each chapter, great sexual pleasure relies on the two individuals and the combined attributes they bring to the process. What I bring is years of insight and experience, plus a series of start-to-finish combinations that will blow your mind.
Unlike books that expose or highlight a person’s deficits, and unlike most forms of pornography that exploit or diminish our personal and sexual worth, I wanted to write a book that focuses on qualities you possess that are your ticket to having the best sex possible for you right now. At every stage of your life, these pages will help you find and honor your own sexual homeostasis—that realm of coital comfort that is yours to enjoy alone or with others. Once you have achieved that sexual state of mind, you can expand those boundaries by improving your health, increasing your flexibility, adding to your knowledge and skills—sexual and interpersonal—and by celebrating the way your body feels, moves, and responds during sex.
I have divided each chapter into the same subsections, which will help you glissade like a bedroom ballerina, as opposed to a wedding guest doing the chicken dance. Chapter subheadings follow this rhythm:
Introduction explains the benefits of each position.
Setting the Stage gets you ready for the upcoming positions.
Warm-Up gets you wet. It’s sexplay, formerly foreplay, and can take place 24/7/365, before, during, after, or in lieu of genital sex. Sexplay can also stand alone.
Position 1 starts things off on the right foot—or hand. Sometimes the first position is harder than the second, but that is so you don’t tire later.
Position 2: Transition gets you from Position 1 to Position 3, and it’s the reason you bought this book. It allows your body to make the connections that your mind, reading words and looking